POST 12:
This past week in family relations class we had talked about divorce and various aspects of re-marriage and blended families With divorce and blending of families there can often be great stress, tension, sadness, as well as great joy and appreciation. One of the key things that we discussed in class was that of having the parent relationship to a child that is not their own to be like that of a fantastic uncle or aunt. This is to keep the proper boundaries between the child and parent and reduce the conflicts that may be ensued.
Another aspect of blended families that we discussed was that of having the birth parent do most of the heavier discipline. So that again this reduces the amount of tension inside the home and developes the proper boundaries between parent and child.
Also as a good note to go by for blended families, the expected sense of normalcy within the family will more likely come around two years after the family is blended. This is due to just the amount of time for not only the proper marital relationships to form between the parents but also for the proper adjustments to take place between child and parent relationships.
From my own experience, I, come from a blended family of sorts. My mother had a child before I was born with a previous marriage and years later married my father, whom she has had 4 more children with including myself. Although I was not yet born when the blending occurred, I know that my parents had a rather typical blend which has become very successful. I believe that this success in large in part due to my father's ability to accept and be the best, loving father as possible, as well as my parents ability to be flexible and work together. The result of this marriage has been a large blessing in the lives of all of my family members, and is successful because of the love and wisdom of my parents.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Monday, December 3, 2012
POST: 11
This past week in family relations class something that stood out to me that we talked about when talking about parenting was the fact that people literally need contact and belonging. It was that if a baby has not had enough physical contact from their parents or whomever than when they grow up it will have effects on how they communicate and function with others. It is also important to making sure that this attention is offered freely and lovingly, whether it be through a hug, smile, or by touch. Often when people have lacked this type of touch and contact in their life they act in such a way that it demands it, yet often times not in a positive way. The best way to deal with this situation is to recognize the need then meet the need. But, it is also very important to teach them how to meet that need for themselves. It is also good to create opportunites for them to contribute and feel like they are apart of a group. By allowing people to help and giving them responsibilities it makes them feel like they belong and further teaches them how to act and behave but also how to fulfill their own needs.Overall, I've learned that the actual contact with others and sense of belonging of a person and child is absolutely necessary for them to grow socially and in health.
This past week in family relations class something that stood out to me that we talked about when talking about parenting was the fact that people literally need contact and belonging. It was that if a baby has not had enough physical contact from their parents or whomever than when they grow up it will have effects on how they communicate and function with others. It is also important to making sure that this attention is offered freely and lovingly, whether it be through a hug, smile, or by touch. Often when people have lacked this type of touch and contact in their life they act in such a way that it demands it, yet often times not in a positive way. The best way to deal with this situation is to recognize the need then meet the need. But, it is also very important to teach them how to meet that need for themselves. It is also good to create opportunites for them to contribute and feel like they are apart of a group. By allowing people to help and giving them responsibilities it makes them feel like they belong and further teaches them how to act and behave but also how to fulfill their own needs.Overall, I've learned that the actual contact with others and sense of belonging of a person and child is absolutely necessary for them to grow socially and in health.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
POST: 10
This past week in family relations class something that we talked about that really stood out to me was how in some cases the thought of more money to help the family really does not always help and can be a trap. This stood out to me because in my life I have personally seen what can happen when some of this occurs. For example, my mother has generally stayed at home throughout me and my siblings growing up but on occasion has picked up some part-time to full time jobs. Usually not making such a very recognizable difference in our lives, the jobs she has had to my opinion have actually not helped our family as much as they thought they would. It took away time that my mother would have had with the children as well as time from my father working. I feel as though my wonderful mother's talents and abilities are being squandered on other activities do not have as much of an impact on our family, as if they would being spent on the home and children. This may sound selfish or I may have some of the facts wrong or out of proportion but at least for me I feel better and happier when my mother is around, and I know that is worth a lot.
This past week in family relations class something that we talked about that really stood out to me was how in some cases the thought of more money to help the family really does not always help and can be a trap. This stood out to me because in my life I have personally seen what can happen when some of this occurs. For example, my mother has generally stayed at home throughout me and my siblings growing up but on occasion has picked up some part-time to full time jobs. Usually not making such a very recognizable difference in our lives, the jobs she has had to my opinion have actually not helped our family as much as they thought they would. It took away time that my mother would have had with the children as well as time from my father working. I feel as though my wonderful mother's talents and abilities are being squandered on other activities do not have as much of an impact on our family, as if they would being spent on the home and children. This may sound selfish or I may have some of the facts wrong or out of proportion but at least for me I feel better and happier when my mother is around, and I know that is worth a lot.
Monday, November 19, 2012
POST: 9
This past week in family relations class a particular item we discussed perk my interest and that was of counsels and the counsel method. It was very interesting for me to see that in our church the counsel method of making decisions is practically all that we do, but for a reason. Counseling with each other and in groups is a very effective way of making decisions and making sure that what is best becomes the outcome. Counsels allow people to be very open with each other, come up with a consensus amongst a group ( not compromise), enable people to be honest with each other, be somewhat vulnerable to criticisms or advice, as well as being unified in purpose and in what gets accomplished. We found that even through the counsels with prophets and apostles big decisions are made and agreed upon and it is made easy to build trust and friendship between each other when these counsels are held properly.
This past week in family relations class a particular item we discussed perk my interest and that was of counsels and the counsel method. It was very interesting for me to see that in our church the counsel method of making decisions is practically all that we do, but for a reason. Counseling with each other and in groups is a very effective way of making decisions and making sure that what is best becomes the outcome. Counsels allow people to be very open with each other, come up with a consensus amongst a group ( not compromise), enable people to be honest with each other, be somewhat vulnerable to criticisms or advice, as well as being unified in purpose and in what gets accomplished. We found that even through the counsels with prophets and apostles big decisions are made and agreed upon and it is made easy to build trust and friendship between each other when these counsels are held properly.
Monday, November 12, 2012
POST 8:
This past week in Family Relations class we were able to more closely focus and look at crisis and drastic events within the family. A crisis is an event that necessitates change. The process of a crisis and in how to deal with and cope with it can be broken down into this model: A for the actual event, B for both resources and responses, C for cognitions or thoughts, and finally X that includes the total experience. To more fully understand this process here is an example of crisis that occurred in my life not too long ago.
First, the actual event. The day before I was to come out to BYU-I for college a pipe bursted in my home and my whole house upstairs and down was completely flooded. This had major damage to the interior of my house and to much of the furniture and other property inside.
Second, both resources and responses. That day we were able to call our insurance on our house and they were able to call our insurance on our house and they were able to cover all of it. They moved my family into a hotel for about a week and a half and then into a rental house, which my family is currently still in. I had extended family in our area that were also able to help us and that made it much easier to deal with.
Third, cognitions or thoughts. My thoughts throughout this whole event were that I was going to have to miss my whole first week of college. With my house, belongings, and family in sort of a disarray it was very inconvenient to leave and probably would have caused more problems anyway. As a new incoming freshman it was very hard to wrap my head around the fact that coming to college would be very different than I had previously imagined. Coming from a hotel, with not all of my family, and arriving the night before classes started not knowing where anything was or even how college worked at all I thought of myself at a disadvantage.
Finally, total experience. This crisis in my family was one that brought us closer together I believe. With no extreme lasting consequences, my family was resilient, we were able to bounce back in our time of chaos and handle what we needed to do. Everything worked out well with my school situation and the moment our house is getting an "extreme home makeover". Overall, I am grateful for this experience because even though it was tough at the time it has only made my family grow closer together and become stronger.
This past week in Family Relations class we were able to more closely focus and look at crisis and drastic events within the family. A crisis is an event that necessitates change. The process of a crisis and in how to deal with and cope with it can be broken down into this model: A for the actual event, B for both resources and responses, C for cognitions or thoughts, and finally X that includes the total experience. To more fully understand this process here is an example of crisis that occurred in my life not too long ago.
First, the actual event. The day before I was to come out to BYU-I for college a pipe bursted in my home and my whole house upstairs and down was completely flooded. This had major damage to the interior of my house and to much of the furniture and other property inside.
Second, both resources and responses. That day we were able to call our insurance on our house and they were able to call our insurance on our house and they were able to cover all of it. They moved my family into a hotel for about a week and a half and then into a rental house, which my family is currently still in. I had extended family in our area that were also able to help us and that made it much easier to deal with.
Third, cognitions or thoughts. My thoughts throughout this whole event were that I was going to have to miss my whole first week of college. With my house, belongings, and family in sort of a disarray it was very inconvenient to leave and probably would have caused more problems anyway. As a new incoming freshman it was very hard to wrap my head around the fact that coming to college would be very different than I had previously imagined. Coming from a hotel, with not all of my family, and arriving the night before classes started not knowing where anything was or even how college worked at all I thought of myself at a disadvantage.
Finally, total experience. This crisis in my family was one that brought us closer together I believe. With no extreme lasting consequences, my family was resilient, we were able to bounce back in our time of chaos and handle what we needed to do. Everything worked out well with my school situation and the moment our house is getting an "extreme home makeover". Overall, I am grateful for this experience because even though it was tough at the time it has only made my family grow closer together and become stronger.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
POST: 7
This week in family relations class we talked about physical intimacy within marriage. We discussed that this intimacy is important to bring the whole of the family together closer making a happier environment for all. It is key in expressing love and emotion between husband and wife. It obviously is needed for procreation and the building of families. This intimacy bonds the body, mind, and souls of spouses. In this act it can also one of the closest ways of being like God in that you are actually creating and making life. A great deal of having good intimacy is being attentive and thoughtful to your spouse and not being selfish but thinking of them and the greater purposes being intimate.
This week in family relations class we talked about physical intimacy within marriage. We discussed that this intimacy is important to bring the whole of the family together closer making a happier environment for all. It is key in expressing love and emotion between husband and wife. It obviously is needed for procreation and the building of families. This intimacy bonds the body, mind, and souls of spouses. In this act it can also one of the closest ways of being like God in that you are actually creating and making life. A great deal of having good intimacy is being attentive and thoughtful to your spouse and not being selfish but thinking of them and the greater purposes being intimate.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
POST :6
This week in family relations class a part of our class time we focused on transitions in marriage. A part that really stood out to me this week was a few question we had to answer as partner groups. The first question was concerning who would be making the money and who would make the decisions how to spend it. My answer detailed that the father would be the primary money maker and that all decisions would be made together, mutually agreed upon. The second question was how close would the parents of each other be to their family and how much vacation time would be spent visiting family. The answer that I had was that the parents would have a good relationship with my family, yet, not be too or over involved in our lives, also that part of the vacation time would be spent visiting family. The third question was how much alone time would be spent with my spouse and my answer was that whatever we find to work best and a good amount of time for the both of us.Also how much time would be spent with the children and this would also be whatever were to work best for everyone. Through this week I was able to recognize the many transitions that occur in marriage and how to prepare for them.
This week in family relations class a part of our class time we focused on transitions in marriage. A part that really stood out to me this week was a few question we had to answer as partner groups. The first question was concerning who would be making the money and who would make the decisions how to spend it. My answer detailed that the father would be the primary money maker and that all decisions would be made together, mutually agreed upon. The second question was how close would the parents of each other be to their family and how much vacation time would be spent visiting family. The answer that I had was that the parents would have a good relationship with my family, yet, not be too or over involved in our lives, also that part of the vacation time would be spent visiting family. The third question was how much alone time would be spent with my spouse and my answer was that whatever we find to work best and a good amount of time for the both of us.Also how much time would be spent with the children and this would also be whatever were to work best for everyone. Through this week I was able to recognize the many transitions that occur in marriage and how to prepare for them.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
POST: 5
This week in Family Relations class something that was not very surprising but I thought of as interesting was the differences in relationships and marriages when cohabiting,(living together before marriage) was present. Studies have shown that in many areas of life cohabitation turns out to be negative in the lives who do it. Such as divorce, violence, split parents, infidelity, and child depression all show to increase as cohabitation is present. Along with physical intimacy, security, and even health tend to go down as cohabitation is present. I feel as though this media and popular trend, gives young adults a very wrong image of what is the ideal, and it turns out to be something it is not. The sacred institution of marriage cannot be replaced and there is a certain way to do things to ensure the successful result of a couple, and that is not cohabitation.
This week in Family Relations class something that was not very surprising but I thought of as interesting was the differences in relationships and marriages when cohabiting,(living together before marriage) was present. Studies have shown that in many areas of life cohabitation turns out to be negative in the lives who do it. Such as divorce, violence, split parents, infidelity, and child depression all show to increase as cohabitation is present. Along with physical intimacy, security, and even health tend to go down as cohabitation is present. I feel as though this media and popular trend, gives young adults a very wrong image of what is the ideal, and it turns out to be something it is not. The sacred institution of marriage cannot be replaced and there is a certain way to do things to ensure the successful result of a couple, and that is not cohabitation.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
POST : 4
This week in family relations class we were able to more further examine the nature of homosexuality and certain beliefs and myths about it. It was mind opening to learn about how people may develope those tendencies. Before I sort of thought of homosexuals as just kind of that way, that just it was how they were rather than them making that choice. The idea was brought up that maybe that was just their trial in life, of trying to deal with and overcome that struggle. But then again it is hard to think of Heavenly Father making someone like that, it does not really follow what we believe.
In an interview of Bro. Williams, he shed light on how people can come to the conclusion of and resolve that they are homosexual. He describes how people with a more androgenous personality and tendencies seem to be seen as different or even outcasts. And this may lead that individual to interpret that difference as something that it's not. He also describes how the choice to be homosexual is not a sexual struggle but rather one of closeness and intimacy. That if someone who might be seen as different and that person realizes it, they yearn for and act on the closeness and intimacy from wherever they can get it. And if there is positive response even from the same sex they may further pursue that path. Yet all people and situations are and can be very different and should be treated as such, in helping to comfort and counsel those who may be have great confusion or struggle in this way.
This week in family relations class we were able to more further examine the nature of homosexuality and certain beliefs and myths about it. It was mind opening to learn about how people may develope those tendencies. Before I sort of thought of homosexuals as just kind of that way, that just it was how they were rather than them making that choice. The idea was brought up that maybe that was just their trial in life, of trying to deal with and overcome that struggle. But then again it is hard to think of Heavenly Father making someone like that, it does not really follow what we believe.
In an interview of Bro. Williams, he shed light on how people can come to the conclusion of and resolve that they are homosexual. He describes how people with a more androgenous personality and tendencies seem to be seen as different or even outcasts. And this may lead that individual to interpret that difference as something that it's not. He also describes how the choice to be homosexual is not a sexual struggle but rather one of closeness and intimacy. That if someone who might be seen as different and that person realizes it, they yearn for and act on the closeness and intimacy from wherever they can get it. And if there is positive response even from the same sex they may further pursue that path. Yet all people and situations are and can be very different and should be treated as such, in helping to comfort and counsel those who may be have great confusion or struggle in this way.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
POST : 3
This past week in family relations class the role playing of the mexican family in class made the biggest impact on me. The situation of a really close family having to illegally move to the United States, and enduring financial and family changes opened my eyes to the importance of the closeness of family and the further realization of how blessed my situation is. What was acted out in class, I thought I understood pretty well because of me being from a part Mexican family, living close to the border, and seeing these types of situations often. I felt like I could truly relate to the family at a more deeper level and through this example I have gained even more empathy and understanding of the difficulties families can and do endure. I have learned that God is in charge of all matters and that when I may have a family I will be able to see God's hand in my family's life better.
This past week in family relations class the role playing of the mexican family in class made the biggest impact on me. The situation of a really close family having to illegally move to the United States, and enduring financial and family changes opened my eyes to the importance of the closeness of family and the further realization of how blessed my situation is. What was acted out in class, I thought I understood pretty well because of me being from a part Mexican family, living close to the border, and seeing these types of situations often. I felt like I could truly relate to the family at a more deeper level and through this example I have gained even more empathy and understanding of the difficulties families can and do endure. I have learned that God is in charge of all matters and that when I may have a family I will be able to see God's hand in my family's life better.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
POST: 2
This week in family relations class we learned about relationships between individual family members and how they affect the family as a whole. The theories of how to understand systems within the family help examine my own relationships between the members of my family. As we made charts about the various relations of the members of our families it made me realize where and with whom i could improve with.
This week in family relations class we learned about relationships between individual family members and how they affect the family as a whole. The theories of how to understand systems within the family help examine my own relationships between the members of my family. As we made charts about the various relations of the members of our families it made me realize where and with whom i could improve with.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
This week in family relations class we talked a lot about societal trends related to individuals, and families and culture.Many of the statistics and facts that were brought up were very interesting and eye opening about what those types of trends really are.
But aside from those things, a few quotes from the reading by some church leaders really stood out to me the most. First was this one by Brigham Young.
But aside from those things, a few quotes from the reading by some church leaders really stood out to me the most. First was this one by Brigham Young.
“There are
multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is
our duty?—To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend
to drive those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be
trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty
of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits
they can.”
President Brigham Young
I found this quote very interesting because I never really thought of birth this way. It makes sense that those of us that know about the gospel and know why we come to earth would be more inclined to help out our fellow man, even if they are our child. They still deserve to be brought up in righteousness and not start off life in an already bad situation. I just never really thought of this like that before.
The second quote by Spencer W. Kimball is,
"You did
not come on earth just to “eat, drink and be merry.” You came knowing full well
your responsibilities. You came to get for yourself a mortal body that could
become perfected, immortalized, and you understood that you were to act in
partnership with God in providing bodies for other spirits equally anxious to
come to the earth for righteous purposes. And so you will not postpone
parenthood. There will be rationalists who will name to you numerous reasons
for postponement. Of course, it will be harder to get your college degrees or
your financial start with a family, but strength like yours will be undaunted
in the face of difficult obstacles."
This quote relating to the same type of thing was also interesting to me. It opened my eyes to how faith works so much in conjunction just with the formation of families. And again before I read this quote I didn't really think about this topic so much in this way, so it was refreshing to hear this kind of thought. It really is not what you may think is best, but it's what God's will is that's important.
The last quote also by President Kimball is,
“Have your
family as the Lord intended. Of course it is expensive, but you will find a
way, and besides, it is often those children who grow up with responsibility
and hardships who carry on the world’s work. And, John and Mary, do not limit
your family as the world does. I am wondering now where I might have been had
my parents decided arbitrarily that one or two children would be enough, or
that three or four would be all they could support, or that even five would be
the limit; for I was the sixth of eleven children. Don’t think you will love
the later ones less or have few material things for them. Perhaps like Jacob,
you might love the eleventh one most. Young people, have your family, love
them, sacrifice for them, teach them righteousness, and you will be blessed and
happy all the days of your eternal lives.“
Again this quote calls for much faith. I could not imagine my family if one of the younger kids was not born. It puts having children in a perspective that makes it seem like it is one of the most important things in the world. But that's because it is.
Friday, September 14, 2012
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